I was warned.
And yet....I was not prepared.
I was not prepared to put my teenage son into a car by himself and let him drive to school.
I mean, this is nuts you guys. I sometimes still cut his spaghetti and I'm supposed to be okay with putting him behind the wheel of a car?
Now, in anticipation of the questions that may arise, here are my responses:
Have you been practicing driving with him? - Yes
Did he take (and pass) Drivers Education? - Yes
Do you trust him to make good decisions? - Debatable....and my answer to this can change as frequently as his mood.
But in all seriousness, to all the parents out there, does anyone else agree that this is next level anxiety? Like, staying awake at night considering all of the worst case scenarios, type of anxiety, or am I just an irrational nut case? He and I had an argument the other day after he couldn't get the box of cereal open and proceeded to completely tear the entire box apart. I told him that if he couldn't emotionally manage himself with a cereal box, how is he going to emotionally manage the stressors of the road. You can about imagine the rebuttals and eye rolls, but in all fairness, I still stand by my point.
The fact is, I do trust him, but I also know that accidents happen and I just can't turn my anxious brain off. I'm not entirely sure our children realize how much they are loved, even if that love often takes the form of a psychotic rage monster that can't relinquish control.
This is yet another stage of parenting that my husband and I will begrudgingly navigate together, not because we don't want our children to be independent, but because to some degree, we are grieving the loss of their youth. I'm self-aware enough to know that this is ultimately a good thing and the first of many big milestones they will achieve, and yet, a part of me also realizes this is yet another way in which I'm no longer needed.
With that said, I will persevere. I will also obsessively stalk the Life360 app.
I may no longer be the driver, but I can't wait to go along for the ride.
