I once heard someone say, kindness is a weakness, and as unsettled as that made me feel, and as much as I wanted to argue, I understood exactly what they were saying. The reality of it is, kind hearts are often manipulated and mistreated and we all know it.
I have a daughter who has one of those kind hearts and every single day, I worry that the big bad world is going to chew her up and spit her out and she’d probably respond to the world by saying that SHE was sorry. Although I wouldn't change a thing about my kind hearted, wicked smart, freckled, glasses and goggle wearing, mouthful for braces beauty for anything in the entire world, I also know that the world isn't always as kind as I'd like it to be.
In fact, she once had a basketball coach that yelled at a ref for calling a pushing foul on her, saying to the ref, that if he actually knew her, there was literally no way SHE could have been the one that committed the foul. Other girls, yes, but not her. It’s funny to think that even her coach couldn’t fathom the idea of her being capable of pushing another player. True story.
My daughter just ended her 5th grade year and we are now fully immersed in our pre-teen era. An era that I have admittedly (and wholeheartedly) dreaded, knowing exactly what pre-teen girls are capable of. For one, I've been a pre-teen girl and two, I'm already hearing rumblings of what I fear is in store. With that said, however, I want you to know that this isn’t a story of the vitriol nature of pre-teen girl culture. In fact, it is quite the opposite and I think you will all be pleasantly surprised.
For a bit more context to this story, there is an award at my daughter’s school called the “Hero Award,” that recognizes students specifically for kindness as well as respect and leadership. I've since learned that it is a pretty big deal and an award that is not easily earned. Now, I don’t know all the details but what I do know is that a handful of girls in my daughter’s class felt strongly that she deserved to be recognized and actually emailed their principal to plead their case. Their collective kindness and belief in her resulted in one of the most endearing moments that both she and I, will cherish forever. At the end of the year awards assembly, unbeknownst to her, her principal gave a speech that shared a bit about the reasons “this student” was being given the award and when her name was called, those girls in her class erupted with applause and I thought my heart might literally burst with pride. It was one of those moments as a parent that I will never forget.
Now, full disclosure, I wrestled a bit with the idea that these girls were all deserving of this award in their own right, knowing the lengths they went to, to advocate for someone other than themselves. It took me a moment to be at peace with their decision, their rationale and to stay in a space of pure and utter gratitude for them. In a world (and at a time in their pre-teen lives) that often reinforces selfishness and self-centeredness, these 5th grade girls restored my belief in what is possible if you choose to lead with a kind heart...and they did just that.
This story about a hero doesn't follow the typical plot line. In this story, there are no villains....just an exceptional group of 5th grade girls and a tearful momma's restored belief in viewing kindness, not as weakness, but as my daughter's super power.
