Sometimes our kids are jerks and they need to be called out

Now if that blog title didn't suck you in, I don't know what would.  Anyone out there nodding their heads and rolling their eyes in solidarity?  Yep, me too, and why? Because we know it's true..sometimes our kids are jerks and they need to be called out.  

First and foremost, I want to strongly preface that I love my children.  

Second, they are still jerks sometimes.  

Here's my story...

My husband and I were doing our usual morning dance of getting ourselves and our kids ready for the day.  With three kids and the both of us working out of the home, it is an unsexy salsa-esque dance of brewing coffee, getting as much done before the kids get out of bed, fighting my oldest son, who is uncomfortable in literally any pair of pants and combing through my daughter's rat's nest of a head of hair.  My youngest is typically on the verge of choking on too big of bites of anything because he screams if it isn't "big," rather than being cut into normal size bites.  Whatever dude, I'm too tired to argue, I guess we'll take our chances.  

My husband was able to be at home for a bit longer this particular morning as he was headed to an orientation for a new job. My oldest was sitting at the counter, already annoyed that I was making him study for his Social Studies test that he had conveniently forgot about until the morning of.  I was getting him some cereal and had mentioned to him that his dad was starting a new job today.  I commented that I was so proud of dad for getting this new job, when to my absolute disappointment and disgust, my oldest, rolled his eyes, and said, "Who cares, he's just working with chickens."  

To provide a bit of background, my husband just took a position with a chicken distribution center. He's a Network Tech and works within the company farms and facilities. My very minimal understanding of his day to day is that, he fixes stuff so everything will continue to run smoothly.  

When my son made that comment, I couldn't help but glance at my husband to see how he reacted.  I could tell immediately that it hurt him.  How could it not?  His eyes glanced downward and he shortly thereafter walked out of the room.  

The way in which my husband and I show emotion is very different.  

Even though I talk about emotions for my job, sometimes, its really hard for me to reign it in when I'm really upset and this was one of those times.  Once my husband left the room, I lost my shit, I mean composure. With the meanest eyes and a sharp finger pointed in his direction, I said, "What a jerk thing to say. How dare you treat your  dad like that."  I went on to ask if he had any idea how hard we work to provide for him, yada yada yada.  I'm not entirely sure that the message hit home until I told him to consider how he would feel if he was excited about one of his accomplishments and if his dad or I would have said, "Who cares."  

He started to cry.  I wondered if he was crying because he was being yelled at or if he actually felt bad about how he made my husband feel. Seeing your children cry is so hard. I was inclined to tell him that it was okay and that it wasn't a big deal, but I didn't and I'm glad I didn't, because quite honestly, it is a big deal. It's a big deal to hurt another person and our job as parents is to teach our children accountability and when an apology is necessary.  I needed to, in that moment, teach my son that his actions have consequences and the consequence in this situation is a super sad dad who would literally move heaven and earth for his wildly ungrateful child.    

With a slight prompt, my son went to him, hugged him, and said thanks for going to work for him. It was a heavy morning, but a morning in which an important lesson was learned.  You don't just get to be a jerk and get away with it and sometimes getting called out is the best thing and we are all better for it.